Frequently Asked Question: Who the fuck is Wally?
December - September August - May April - January
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
2000 |
|
1987 |
|
1914 |
August 26
REBEL ART
dear spy DONT STOP please file report about ludek's opening DONT STOP simply smashing DONT STOP czechs DONT STOP baby czechs DONT STOP graham clayton with the long name DONT STOP ziggy's piano accompaniment DONT STOP brian's hash DONT STOP four uglies singing to an audience of one DONT STOP the wrong tanja DONT STOP hungarian katarina once co-curator of national budapest museum in castle turning up at last DONT STOP with boyfriend DONT STOP ludek's wife convincing him to let the jewelled idiots play on till kingdoms riot and forget about his punk cds DONT STOP the polish song DONT STOP tornado lays his mommy on his daddies grave DONT STOP san francisco unimpressed DONT STOP wally falls for farfisa DONT STOP gadfly sings happy birthday dear holocaust DONT STOP paradox paul currently cutting hours of crap into latest 'drunk at wallys 2' mini-cd DONT STOP call report 'punk baby party' DONT STOP name all babies present and include detailed crit of new artworks DONT STOP
wally DONT STOP DONT STOP DONT STOP
ps you'll get yourself into trouble calling people farfisists STOP
August 19
SUDDEN TORNADO
A strange night perhaps. Or perhaps not, I can't tell anymore.
Sent an e-mail the night before:
"As a last minute appendage constructed to induce the masses before NIKKI SUDDEN’s long-overdue concert at Wally’s tonight (extra special recording session), a group of angry fish-wives, God Almighty and His girlfriend Suzy Cream-Cheese are proud to present co-Wallywoods Compilation CD contributor & part-time Ugly American, ALEX TORNADO..."
The 'special recording' technique merely refers to Mark van Klark's discovery that with the basic equipment and software we've been using the last six months we can actually record on two separate channels. The wonders of this technical evolution do not compare to the stony after-concert sound-trash that occurred after everyone, including the man himself, got stoned out of their box. Drunk? The cows came home. The dogs meowed and Clive, Alan and Ziggy (especially Alan) forced a premature ejaculation of V.I.P.s with a cocktail of punk and poetry (see text below) what made Nikki leave and Mr Tornado get paranoid about Nikki leaving. I said, "Don't get paranoid. He may know the difference in smell between the socks of all four of the other Rolling Stones, but Wallywoods considers you equals. Logic was useless. Mr Tornado, after jamming with Mr Sudden through an hour of the worst jam Wally's walls have transmitted to the neighbours ('war trotdem lustig' said some stoned German twat) broke down into a puddle-shadow of his pre-concert self. Poor Suzy Cream-Cheese.
Neu Textdocument
Der Ausflug
Balisto
Suche nach Gott
Weil meine Liebe davon nichts weiss
Mexico
Dirty wide ocean
Take me
Carbondioxide
Negativeland
Lina lina
Ich will nicht studieren
Alles nur Chemie
Im Herzen sonst ganz rein
Fam Klein
A lonely wolf in the desert of disaster
(All rights respected: Graham Clayton from the Other Side and the Futurettes)
Volker bought a couple of Ceci's pictures. That makes about nine water-colours from her exhibition sold, plus interest from a neighbour in one of the big ones.
August 16
Dear Friends of Gallery Wallywoods...
MARIE-CECILE LUTTA: “A.A.BAGDAD”
& THE UGLY AMERICANS
"To celebrate the success of Ms Lutta’s exhibition ‘Still Alive’ (still lifes on paper) we are proud to unveil her latest tempera painting ‘A.A.Bagdad’ (120 x 200cm), finished just a couple of days ago, to be displayed for at least one week in the gallery window. Accompanied with live music from ‘The Ugly Americans’ (featured on the Wallywoods compilation CD). As an honorary member of the ‘Uglies’ ensemble, it is hoped that Ms Lutta will also sing…"
'A.A.' means Arbeits Amt, that's the German Dole office.
Mr San Francisco did not turn up (urgent baby boy business); and no, Ms Lutta did not sing, the Polish guy did. Then Mr Tornado sang to Mr Gadfly's temporary keyboard (not yet smashed to pieces in the long-planned hammer-smashing performance it has long deserved) because some guy called Volker and then Wally himself demanded the Uglies concert be un-cancelled.
Mr Gadfly has since decided that Mr Tornado, who turns out to be related to someone British, is an honorary Ugly American.
August 12
Dear Friends of Wallywoods Music...
"Our recommended concert of the evening takes place this evening next door at ARCANOA (Am Tempelhofer Berg 8, Kreuzberg):
GRAHAM CLAYTON FROM THE OTHER SIDE (UK/D)
Graham Clayton from the Other Side also feature on the Wallywoods Double Compilation CD (“My Girlfriend’s Friend”/“Womans”) which was noisily and successfully launched last night at Kaffee Burger – in fact all copies were sold out or given away to complete strangers by Wally after the crazy midnight jam instigated by THE UGLY AMERICANS who were joined on stage by other CD contributors: KRISTIAN FJELLSTAD, ALEX TORNADO, THOMAS FRANZ, JULES WARD, special guest MARIE-CECILE LUTTA (etc). What a night ! (Check the website soon for the next Kaffee Burger date – The ‘Wallywoods Experience’ is about to become a monthly event…)"
August 11
KAFFEE BURGER MEETS WALLYWOODS
Photos: Thomas HegerFrom the top and roughly in order of play: KRISTIAN FJELLSTAD, THOMAS FRANZ (2), ALEX TORNADO (3,4), M.C.GADFLY (keyboard), GRAHAM CLAYTON FROM THE OTHER SIDE (not the whole gang), BRIAN BURGESS (7), JULES WARD (8), MARIE-CECILE LUTTA (9), JASON SAN FRANCISCO (13,14), GERRY ELECTRONICA (14, background) (and KAI POHL 3rd from last, also featured on the CD, too shy or clever on this night to read his 'Fuck the German Way'). HELGE DER HINTERHOFDICHTER was also present but due to regrettable misunderstandings all around, got blasted off the stage after one line of 'Nimm Mich Mit'. Sincere apologies to Helge from ALL of us.
The e-flyer enticed:
Dear Friends of Wallywoods Music,
You are happily and personally invited to join me (and the musicians named above) at Kaffee Burger for the first Wallywoods Double Compilation CD release party & concert, hosted by M.C.GADFLY and THE UGLY AMERICANS etc., etc..
Fair to say that the little disco which followed was a bit of an anti-climax.
Can Wallywoods ever top that night?
YES! Again and again...
August 6
Dear Ugly Friends...
"Wallywoods is hitting the road and NOTHING WILL BE THE SAME AGAIN!
LIVE AND LOUD AT ARCANOA (nice place, might get flooded):
THE UGLY AMERICANS
‘Psychedelic electronica from San Francisco’
THE UGLY AMERICANS are Wally’s favourite band of 2005 (category: excruciatingly talented mad loud bastards). Why? Damn good question. THE UGLY AMERICANS never rehearse the same song twice. In fact, Wally wonders why THE UGLY AMERICANS rehearse at all. In fact, THE UGLY AMERICANS have not rehearsed at all for this gig.
Who cares!"
August 3
KOLPORTER
Photos: Thomas Heger
Kolporter are, in their own words:
Ein Duo
Frau, Mann
Kontrabass und Gitarre
Zwei Stimmen
Große Songs auf das nötigste reduziert
Charmantes Vaudeville-Liedgut
Moritaten-Morbidität
Minimal-Bossa
Klassisches Songwriting
Experimentierfreude und Spielwitz
In Wally's words, they got included on the compilation CD (song 9, disk 2) with a pretty little number called "Will We Meet Again?" - and I know we will.
A nicely relaxed night. When the Rowdy Wallys gate-crashed the set, slapping thighs, whistling and singing along, kind-natured Maike and Michael didn't mind a bit. Very pleasant indeed.
July 29
PESCADORES DE VENTANAS
The night's poster and the new double CD
From the website:
PESCADORES DE VENTANAS
"Anglo-Argentine Pregnant Music"
Gustavo Bauchwitz (Arg.); bandoneon, guitarra, canto, composiciones
David Gawthorpe (U.K.); guitarra, voces, composiciones
Julian Wright (Arg.); percusion
plus Yaw Dompreh, guest percussionist from Africa
and from Germany, Swen Elze (tablas) & Susanne Gärtner (bratch - that's a violin).
+ Re-release of the 2xCD recorded on 17 June...
Notwithstanding 'In The Bag' (dodgy Nikki Sudden CD, to be re-mixed and re-issued without cover-songs) this was the first proper Wallywoods CD release party presenting the first proper CDs (recordings from June 17 re-engineered by Mark van Klark, new graphices by Wally) in a re-arranged gallery (bar in the back room, main space cleared to bare minimum), the fullest house yet (60 people I reckon including those on the street - mostly adorable young ladies come to adore Gustavo) and a rare profit recovered. Also the loudest party till now ending in a visit from the cops, then a walk with Cécile through a torrential summer lightening storm. Complaints in the morning from an unexpected corner (directly opposite). His earplugs didn't work. But he was right, we can't go on like this without a bit of token sound-proofing.
Sir Thomas: "This was REALLY a GREAT night!"
Wally: "You say that every week."
July 19 & 20
GET 'EM DOWN & GET 'EM UP
Some of Mr Neugebauer's 'Urban Landscape' (with bartender)
and the poster for Ms Lutta's 'Still Alive' opening.
The closing party for Mr Neugebauer's photo show and the opening of Marie-Cécile Lutta's 'Still Alive' exhibit (still lifes on paper) might have been the same event for all I remember, with a hung-over panic wedged in-between spent packing up the photos ready for collection (minus one sold) and nailing up the still lifes. During the hanging Graham Clayton's gang from the Other Side turned up to listen to last Saturday's recording (giving the thumbs up to 'My Girlfriend's Friend' going on the CD) and Cécile's Latin temperament - she be Swiss but Latin at heart - threatened to cancel or burn all her pictures or both. Thanks to Cool Clive's intervention (a big hug put a big smile back on her little face) she did neither. The punk band, reading between the lines, retired backstage like good church moles and the show went on - until God knows what hour. Ugly One compared across both evenings, practising his between-song-banter ready for the great event on August 11. The Ugly Americans themselves played on Cécile's night, accompanied by young Max on keyboard singing Jingle Bells ('..this kid'll be on heroine next year..'') and an assortment of more or less talented pluckers and poets fought for air-time (guest artists get free drinks). I hope some photos will turn up to remind me what else happened.
(Later)
They turned up:
Photos: Thomas Heger
July 18
From Peter Dennis in the UK:
Dear Wally,
Here is a short description of my project:
Peter Dennis is currently working on an excavation of a ruined house in Reading, UK. Taking Martin Heidegger’s notion of ‘uncovering’ as its starting point, the excavation is a study of various ‘ways of knowing’ or interacting with the world. Intuiting, digging, memorising and sifting through rubble form part of an increasing number of ‘uncoverings’ documented at www.rdg.ac.uk/~lju03psd
‘Displacements’ will be a deconstruction of the scientific mode of uncovering. Artefacts will be flown over from the site to Berlin, where they will be analysed for one week by way of rigorous observation and experiment. Rather than to simply shout science down from the privileged position it enjoys in the West, ‘Displacements’ promises to provide a more considered look at what science is and how it functions as a way of knowing.
I've been talking to Kirsti, one of the others who will be coming to Berlin, and we came across a problem we had previously thought we could solve with the maze idea, namely that ours is a group of disparate projects and we don't seem to have any non-arbitrary reason why they should be exhibited alongside each other. Given the way the projects are shaping up, exhibiting them together would also mean that a huge amount of unintentional cross-references and themes would arise, ones which we were not wholly aware of and unable to use productively. For example, Kirsti's project has to do with gender and the way the female body is perceived by men, mine has to do with different ways of cognising the world. These two alone seem too disparate to be usefully exhibited together; any attempt to make connections between the two would probably result in some rather wild and/or uninteresting ideas.
Another development is that it now seems the group will be smaller than previously thought. I can say that I am 100% there, and that Kirsti says she's definitely committed too. One person has dropped out and there are two others who haven't got back to me with any proposal of what it is they want to do (although they may do before the end of the month, which was the cut-off point for this).
For these reasons, we wondered about the possibility of running the different projects one after the other. Obviously this would change the original concept (which may have been something like a cross-section of a group of British artists) but it would allow us to concentrate on each project as a unit. We feel that this would give us more control over each project in a way that exhibiting all the projects together would not.
From your point of view, I suppose this means that the project would inevitably run for longer. I would probably need about a week to run my project to completion. I'm not sure how long Kirsti would require, but her work will probably be a number of short films of her in various situations (I'll get her to e-mail you with the details).
With this in mind, I suppose her project would be able to run for less time (if there are time issues), since it is the amount of people that come and see it that counts, and not the amount of time it runs for. This is different to my project because I will need the time to actually carry out the experiments etc. and develop the investigation.
Please let me know what you think about all of this, I realise things keep on changing. Also, now that the previously indefinite amount of people is more clear, do you know of any suitable spaces where we could run the project? I was actually thinking that the back room of your gallery (where your friend had some WWI montages) would be ideal because it's simple and not too big.
Reply:
Dear Peter,
I trust in your ideas and decisions fully. Don’t worry about things changing, things changing is part of the whole idea. That’s why we do what we do.
There is no exhibition yet booked after end of August so I would like to use the whole gallery (including extension spaces if and as they become available) on a weekly change of artist/topic basis as you suggest. However, the gallery can easily house 2 sub-projects separately. Don't worry too much about mixed references, they will arise whatever you do as you are parts of a group show. Never be afraid to DEMAND of your audience! In any case our audience, what I know of it, is a pretty mature bunch. As long as each self-contained exhibition is obviously separate in space (different rooms) it will receive the respect it deserves. But if you want to run each show using the whole gallery on a weekly basis, that's more than fine too, in that case for as long as it takes.
Previous correspondence:
May 10
April 4
July 16
The Spy reports:
Saturday night at Wallywoods witnessed an invasion from the north, that is, hordes of barbarians from the north side of Kopischstrasse where the Mittelalterfest (middle-ages festival) was in full swing as Wally geared up for a British invasion. Crusaders mixed with Prenzelberg punks, swords against guitars, as the gallery had its first full-fledged rock concert, electric guitars and an actual drum set (no mere bongos), 'Graham Clayton from the Other Side' ("Bitchish & bastardish rock'n'roll vampires & broken down relationships..") leading the invasion with some thumping sock and soul. Blood was let, but only minor casualties were reported: deaf fans, insulted musicians, and at least 3 drunk-sick maidens losing their virginity to knights in shining poetry as the midnight hour approached and brave young men whipped out the only thing more dangerous than sword or guitar... their verse.
July 11
Received these mails:
Dear Wally
Sounds like your uninvited guest will be staying longer than planned (he's getting his stuff?). Anyway, at least he was saved by Catholics, the homosexual hierarchy. Last time a black man was saved by French monks he couldn't sit for a week.
Feel free to quote me to your sect, but at this point I think the website should be renamed the Church of Walliology.
Ugly One
Dear Wally
Hi Paul, there is a band called KOLPORTER (Double-bass and guitar/vox) 2 people, they are looking for a show wednesday (maybe thursday) first week of august, do you think they can play your gallery? nice people and good music.
greets, harry.
I have no idea who Harry is. I suggested August 3.
(Turned out to be Harry Coltello.)
Dear Wally
I will play for this concert some original songs, and I hope I can put a lot of energy...
Good... Continue with this energy Wally. And always I think that more important than the famous people is the live people, the people who make about the air a magic sound...
If we put ourselves in the Darkness for a lot of time, it is not easy to open the eyes for the light, but not impossible... We have to put down the Dark House again and built again, and that we can do with the passion and love, and a lot of people can help, in their form, some times little, some times more, but always something...
Gustavo
Dear Wally
No probs, seeya then. Bruno.
(this in answer to:)
Hi Bruno Adams,
Can I have your permission(s) to put the 'Planetarium' version you did here with Lizzy Wood onto the first Wallywoods compilation (double) CD? Release date 11 August - big party at Kaffee Burger - if you agree, it would be super-duper if you could come and perform it that night..?
also this from Bruno:
Yes Folks, Once Upon A time are reforming again for 3 nights. We're opening that box of winged devils and grounded angels again. Come and see who or what comes out alive:
Do. 14.07.05 Cafe Zapata/Tacheles 22.30 Uhr
Sa. 16.07.05 Sumava Rocks Festival, Susice-CZ, 17.30 Uhr
So. 17.07.05 Guru Club, Rockycanova 29, Zizkov, Prag-CZ
Dear Wally
Sure thing - dude...
Let´s rock!
Alex Tornado
('Drogen ohne Drogen' now officially on the CD - great!)
July 10
Received these mails:
Dear Wally
sorry i didn't come by on saturday, but i didn't want to wake you. then george picked me up and we went to the ost see for the weekend, for the festival of bad taste. bad food, bad clothing, bad breath, and the sort of beach nudity that makes you wish they would put the bad clothes back on as you feast your eyes on women just as fat and clutzy as the men, only with enormous hanging boobies. on the up side, plenty of jelly fish in the water to break up the monotony of brown sea weed, and lots of mosquitos to keep you company when not in the water. but it's always nice to smell the sea.
even as you're eating a raw herring with a raw onion plastered on it and stuffed in a clammy roll.
diaries look great, and rather more accurate than they used to be. but who exactly did lola have sex with in the yard (besides herself)?
Ugly One
Dear Wally
sounds good with the crane ...
i would like to do something at your place. but right now i'm too busy to organize stuff till august and in september i'm the whole month gone. probably it will work around autumn if it's not too cold and we can put some heaters in there...
lets stay in contact
chandler
(in reply to:)
Hello Chandler,
I talked to my landlord. The crane/pulley mechanism in the hanger works fine. He was a bit sceptical about our idea, but I said it would be good for the gallery, and then he agreed in principle.
He can clear the space (it's his workshop) for an event at a weekend, a Friday or Saturday night I think is best. Maybe I will also find someone who is interested in hanging for the first time.
Let me know if you are still interested and we will meet/talk again.
Best wishes
Wally
July 9
This from Dad:
Dear Son
Hope the reading went well and that you remained sober enough to do your material justice! Your Londoners picture today well chosen.
James, (who is on treble shift duty tonight and tomorrow) sends his best regards and appreciated hearing that you had called to check on the family.
Spoke to Sophie tonight, who is thrilled at your having put some of her stuff on the net and tells everyone - at great length- about wallywoods!
Love from us both,
Dad
July 8
RAP RAP RAPPIN ON WALLY'S DOOR
At Bastard the night before I invited Joel and friends of the English rap group Grizzly Mortimer (they had performed under a special category) to do something at Wally's - and low and behold! they appeared early in the evening with 15 or so young disciples of rap: quiet, polite and sober as grown-ups - at least on the outside. Young Christians actually, spreading the word with quick tongues and an excellent beat-box, although this Holy fact was not known to Jason san Francisco who kicked things off with some pretty words of welcome followed by a spontaneous reading from his current favourite book, Penny Rimbaud's 'Shibboleth - My Revolting Life':
"...They tell me 'Go to church and see the light', because the Good Lord is always right. So what? So what? So what if Jesus died on the cross? What about the Fucker, I don't give a toss. So what if the master walked on the water - I don't see him try to stop the slaughter. They say I wouldn't have to live from bins, if I would just go along and confess my sins. They say I shouldn't commit no crime, 'cos Jesus Christ is watching all the time. So what? So what..?"
(From the punk band Crass's 'Reality Asylum' single, lyrics by Steve Ignorant)
When the Ugly American, too, realised he was being preached to, the shit almost hit the Holy fans. After doing my utmost to calm him down in the back room, he couldn't resist closing the evening with a couple of favourite quotes, one from the Bible, one from Tolstoy:
"Nothing is more negative than the obligation to be positive."
"Had Christ never lived, the world would be a more Christian place."
I too am a devout, in fact vehement, non-believer, better said, anti-believer. As host, however, I managed to keep my forked tongue in my head. The project is more important than any of this banter. And Grizzly Mortimer were not only 'good' (one track confirmed for the CD) but no-one can deny they be a decent trio of lads.
July 7
BASTARD BOMBINGS
source: internet
Helge jointly won first prize at this month's Poetry Slam at Bastard, his best effort yet, knocking me again out of the first round.
I had intended to read René Schwettge's translation of 'Bucket', received per e-mail in the afternoon, but needing far more time to practice it would have been a slow-death disaster. Extremely nervous (250 people were present) I read these instead, the latter dedicated to William Blake ("another great Londoner"), followed by Anja's weird German translation from last year:
Nobby Tail
I saw a chap with horns and a nobby tail,
"I found my thrill in a bottle of swill.."
He sang, his eyes all darting;
He couldn't stop laughing.
I saw a chap with eyebrows raised in the middle,
High as heaven, his speech enchanting;
"Blah blah blah blah blow blap blah.." he blew;
He couldn't stop farting.
They met today at Liverpool Street Station,
It was ever so exciting!
That Sticky Place
Butterfly came landing
She bent to kiss a branch
And dug herself a home there
(Rest now).
Erupted soon a moth
Of duller, badder beauty
Which leapt across the flood
Below and pranced about
The yawning vale where
Petals pour down spinningly
On ants who do not care -
For toil here is light enough
But lighter yet the head
Which wags in fever to deny
That, YES, His Storm is blown aside
But, NO, it failed to cure the Wound
It only rapped upon the crust
Without that sticky zone of reckoning
That Glory Place I made my own
That sullied place methinks now CURSED!
An ant pit DAMNED and QUEENLESS!
(Breathe now).
Gushing 'neath the bark!
Ahoy!
Burning at the knot!
A-Splicing lower limb from
little Butterfly - yet digging!
(Fly now!)
And Yee did sow the rhythm
That I did catch the rhythm
Till Yee escaped the rhythm
Lest I should CRUSH the rhythm
And THEE!
July 6
CANCEL THE CONCERT
Photos: Thomas Heger
Nico Neugebauer's opening of photographs ('Urban Landscape') was musically and sexily accompanied by surprise visitors and spreaders of sweet American dreams, 'Cancel'. Something like Velvet Underground, currently with more charm than experience, though destined for greatness if they stick to it and meet the right people, which is bound to happen, as they are one of the prettiest bands we've entertained.
It was actually Nico's friend Kristian Fjellstad's night (first pic above) and therefore a double-booking, and he followed with a set of his own, in front of quite a full house by this time. A pleasant evening altogether, which started with Jason reading from the new book whilst Fysche rolled around on the sofa trying to contain her laughter, and ended.. I don't know how.
It all got recorded: CD(s) available at the gallery - also Cancel's own CD (tighter), along with t-shirts and Fysche's book.
July 5
CANCEL THE REHEARSAL
Jason san Francisco's friends 'Cancel' from California on their first world tour dropped in for a surprise gig, but hardly anyone saw it, so they were asked to come do it all again tomorrow in front of an audience. Bass-player and vocals lady Fysche was also publicizing her new book 'Tails - Swimming Both Ways' (German version: Schwimm doch einfach weiter), and after the music a photo session in the back room turned raunchy when I told Fysche about my plans for a Wallywoods Erotic Calendar for 2006. Sealing off the back room for Cancel's own photographer (second pic) to capture half the band half stripping and fondling one another fondly, the Ugly American never-the-less sneaked in under some lame pretence involving his boyfriend the Farfisa.
"I WANT those pics! I WANT those pics!" he was heard wimpering, and almost went straight overnight.
I want them too.
Photos: Thomas Heger
July 1
DRUNK AT WALLY'S
Photos: Thomas Heger
I remember nothing at all. However, we recorded on guitar Gerry of the Ugly Americans doing something surprisingly Spanish (pic #2), Thomas the Younger, Helge and myself, Mr San Francisco singing himself to sleep (pic #3) and in the morning Paradox Paul ('can you record that smell?') and his hangover mixed a mini CD which nobody will ever want to buy in which Ugly American #1 invents the Wallyzone, Whistling-Arse Wally and Holy Farts. Helge, however, thinks it belongs on the compilation CD.
P.P.s mix ends with 'Everybody Needs Somebody Sometime'. It's quite romantic. Classic Wallywoods.
June 29
LOLA'S BIRTHDAY
"..Lola arrived at the Gallery accompanied by her Mother, a very attractive woman in her early forties. They were both drunk as fuck and exceptionally entertaining indeed. Everybody got extremely horny and wanted to touch them.."
Photos: Thomas Heger
Great to get a visit (and so strangely early in the evening) from a predominately English bunch of Prenzlauerberg musicians, including poet Brian Burgess (pic #2) who I've been after for 8 months, most of whom never before made it this far. Incredible energy. We come from the same gutter, enjoy equally weed and who-gives-a-damn parties, have all suffered at the hands of ze German auzorities - and I'm very pleased to have booked Clive (last pic) and his band 'Graham Clayton from the Other Side' (Brian is also their manager) for July 16.
When Lola turned up she almost stole the show except that nobody could top our own Ugly American singing 'Happy Birthday you tired slut..' (first pic).
Lola laughed louder than all of us put together.
June 24
CHRISSI X COLLECTS HER FLOWERS
Photos: Thomas Heger
All I remember is that Lola pulled her trousers down to the delight - if that be the word - of Thomas the Younger (first pic, left) and Helge der Hinter-arse-spanker (third pic, right).
June 22
CHRISSI X KILLS ART
Chrissi's rock-fashion S&M and extreme piercing-performance photos (exhibition title: 'Kill Art!' link: www.punkatheart.de ) are good enough to appear in any magazine or at any unconstipated gallery space - just hard to believe she has not really exhibited before (shares with me an aversion to the usual arrogant gallery scene) and has only done so here because she likes the spirit of the place.
Fire torches outside front and back, video show on the courtyard fire-wall, photos in the back room of Chandler and friends hanging themselves from hooks at a private session in some industrial space, Gustavo turning up with a pretty girl and her violin (the only thing Chrissi and some of her friends didn't agree with - I thought it was a great mix), and apparently Lola Baby Superstar (rock'n'roll trash-bitch model for the photos in the front gallery) having sex with a pretty boy in the yard to finish the event with a classy bang.
Photos: Thomas Heger
"..Lola Baby Superstar: singer, performer, model, muse and apparently initiator of said exhibition (remember bed and breakfast with computer access, indoor toilet and shower in the heart of Neukölln).."
June 21
END OF CARROTSPhoto: Thomas Heger
A quiet end to Silka's Carrot Drop exhibition, due perhaps to approximately zero publicity. The few guests included 78 year old Rolf Wagner who once solved a great mathematical mystery and never stops telling people about it. We recorded the discussion he lead about the Second World War and then life in the DDR but somehow it didn't get saved, so Mr Wagner is cordially invited to tell it all again in front of an audience. He loves the idea.
June 17
GUSTAVO BAUCHWITZ (Bandoneon, Arg.)
with DAVID GAWTHORPE (Guitar, U.K.)
and AKIRA ANDO (Doublebass, Japan)
Photos: Thomas Heger
and then jam-packed with Stefan from Bulgaria on 12-string violin, Thomas on percussion, a girl on sax also singing French folk, a Moroccan guy singing in Kurdish, Wally with David singing 'The Drunken Sailor', Helge tending bar between poems; in this country they call it Multi-Kulti. Paradox Paul, after escorting out the door the African-American who demanded P.P. stop reading and sing dat pome instead, calls it 'Collision of Talents'.
Photos: Heger & Wally
Double CD of the whole night (27 songs) available for 12 euros (contact)
June 15
NIKKI SUDDEN & SURPRISE GUEST PHIL SHOENFELT
Photos: Thomas Heger
An unusually civilised rock'n'roll evening began with a debut from Tiny Timski (recording available on request) singing along to some background Nikki, entertaining a respectful and patient full house, until Nikki arrived in person, late but less stressed than last time around; and ended with another Wallywoods guest debut, Phil Shoenfelt (The Fatal Shore, Once Upon A Time), who got recorded too.
Photos: Thomas Heger
CD available on request: 12 euros (contact)
June 14
SUCCESSFUL FINISSAGE (SOMETHING GOT SOLD)
Young-Sik Lee was a bit miffed that none of his teachers came to the closing of his show, but he bravely read 3 poems in German to the few people who did turn up, fed them donuts, then sold his life-sized pencil drawing of a young man, Christian (from the series 'Menschen im Berliner Umfeld') to an odd but interested and friendly gentleman who put down a deposit in cash after explaining that he too was a poor artist who's own gallery (in Prenzlauerberg I think) must soon close due to lack of funds.
I wonder if I've just met my future self?
June 11
CAKE AND KARAOKE AT WALLY'S
Photos: Thomas Heger
With the big Bergmann Street Festival around the corner and a function happening at the art school and various galleries in the back yard (including a trapeze act and an African drums ensemble in the 'hanger') the idea was to put the tables out and open early for another 'coffee, cake and art' afternoon accompanied by various guest musicians. This all went to plan, but I was later forced to scrub 'Kaffee, Kuchen & Kunst' off the blackboard outside and replace it with the only suitable word which sprang to mind: Karaoke.
Tiny Tim enjoyed himself as much as the drunks, I think, boogying down and finally passing out on the sofa. I wish Dieter had passed out on the sofa (someone else's) long before he was escorted out the door and let loose on the otherwise festive and pleasant locality.
June 10
LOCUS POCUS
Photos: Thomas Heger
The Locus Pocus debut was Ken and Gerry from the Ugly Americans and Ceci (Cécile from Switzerland) singing in Italian and Spanish at our first Latin evening with the cheapest (and most awful) Caipirinhias in Berlin. When barman Jason san Francisco, otherwise known as Elephant Lungs, arrived (picture) the thing turned into another Night of the Uglies. His performance was the maddest yet and culminated in some form of break-dance-cum-roll-around-on-the-floor-laughing. Another first on this evening: that floor turned into a pretty groovy dance-floor. Ken said it was the latin music mixed with cheap cocktails; so now we are seriously considering doing the same every Friday. Perhaps after the sound-proofing goes up.
June 8
SILKA TEICHERT & CARROT DROP
Photos: Thomas Heger
Silka's 'Abwurf 100' ('Carrot Drop' is the only translation she is happy with) is 100 signed and framed drawings, bold and naive in style, of carrots. Each is an original, although at first glance you would be forgiven for assuming them photo-copies. That's the great thing about them. Five hours in the hanging, they make one of the cleanest and most respectable installations the back room has yet seen.
For the opening, Bert Papenfuß read his 'Es Gibt Keine Freiheit' ('There Is No Freedom'), dark political texts of the highest calibre, with Alexander Krohn on a distorted yet minimal guitar. Unfortunately Sir Thomas ran out of batteries so we have no photos of the performance, but the recording is just about perfect; however we won't know for a while whether the gallery can publicise (sell) the material further.
The connection to Cafe Burger (one of the most successful venues in the East, a real success story after just a few years) and the whole literary and music scene there can only be an excellent thing; and it was good to see some old Prenzlauerberg faces including René and Suzie, and Alan Layton who has booked show here with Clive (also English) next month.
Earlier I bought five bags of carrots from the Penny Markt supermarket - at a reduced price because they were out of date and stank of puke, before being individually washed or thrown out if too disgusting - and emptied them in a heap in the window before hot-glue-gunning a selection onto the inside of the glass itself. Being still damp they dropped off after a while, one after the other, but the action continued with the help of a little boy (who also made animal puppets from them) and later I stopped telling people that the carrots' continual 'dropping' was unintentional.
June 7
IT IS OFFICIAL (as far as this weblog is concerned)
Wallywoods regulars 'American Ugly' are 'The Ugly Americans' again.
Those big tan fags.
Too many band names in the world...
June 4
PRIORITY NUMBER 1
I think the answer is to raise my own rent until Gerhard agrees to help with the sound proofing. I want to open 4 times a week (there's enough stuff going on to fill 7 days, starting tomorrow), but I feel I'm encouraging a local revolution if I talk too loud on the phone after half-past-ten. That's no way to run a music business - sorry, poster-design gallery.
PRIORITY NUMBER 2 is next month's poetry slam.
I should read a German translation of THE LAUGHING TORSO. René Schwettge must be the man to do it, or Zandi perhaps. Hope to see them at Wednesday's Carrot Drop.
And Anya would like to meet for a beer.
June 2
Went to the monthly Poetry Slam at Prater, better known as Bastard, with Helge der Hinterhofdichter. He read his new 'Der Tod' poem, practicing in the car to get it down to 6 minutes. Five minutes is the limit and you might get booed off. I lost to Helge in the first round, after going on first to read these:
The Missionary
In a cave behind a village in Africa is
rumoured to live the most beautiful wild savage.
It is said that, when the moon is new
and all the land dark, he creeps out to gather
sleeping vines, from which he produces
the snares, from time to time discovered
by locals, who cross themselves
(they are Christians)
and mumble weak prayers of protection.
Occasionally a goat will go missing,
or a dog or a cow or a villager.
At the back of that cave is a secret
tunnel - not gloomy or tight, rather
shimmering and high as a chapel.
Two or three times in a year, or a
decade, two figures may be seen
passing through it.
My bed
When hollow hills join sorded seas
And vapours rise and venoms splash
And salt-sick fish collide in froth
To dash their brains 'twixt rock and bone
Or drown in honeyed pools of tar
Where pale birds flock to madly sup
'Tween blasted sheets of storm-whipped 'spuck'
Thrown off that south-most craggy mount
Late shunned by mistress moon who clings
'Neath shrouds of winter fog so dense
'Neath season's shadow cast so long
'Neath endless foreign nights so FUCKING chill that
No sane beast adores that place
This place of adventure abandoned.
The featured poet should cut his act by half and I find the competition atmosphere a bit annoying... but Christ that bald guy is good. He's the national champion apparently, wins every month. Reminds me of Alexei Sale (oh! ooh! please pardon my fuckin gramma). I couldn't leave without a last heckle, half-a-dozen beers loud, volunteering to get back on the stage when it appeared to me they were genuinely inviting someone to come up. But their banter was pre-planned merely to introduce another wordy Lotto-Spieler; amid deafening shouts from the back 'PARADOX PAUL! PARADOX PAUL!'
June 1
YOUNG-SIK LEE
Whether it was Lee's mother and her 5 industrial-sized boxes of Dunkin Donuts ("Pweeez to meet you, Herr Wooosa"), the super-8 70's porno film after she left, or turning off the music at 10.30 to pacify the harassed neighbours, Lee's nervously awaited debut was a grand hit. Or perhaps it was the fact that, for once, we astonished males were far out-numbered by pleasantly arty females. The gallery was about as full as it gets from seven until one or two in the morning. With or without the neighbours.
May 31
Photo: Thomas Heger3 events a week on average now and little time for the diaries. Tonight is George's finissage, with 'ritual self-exorcism' (comedy), occult book auction and He only knows what else. Zitty magazine writes 'virtual self-exorcism'. Is there a difference?
Later
George's hysterical self-exorcism was the funniest thing I've seen this year. Apart from that, I think it was the real thing. Anyway, Miss moon filmed it, Sir Thomas recorded, and I shall try to get a version of it onto this site.
Later I auctioned off my Duck Feet painting (with some hammer-damage) to the guy who also bought a Kai Pohl t-shirt. He wants to play guitar here. As far as I'm concerned he can be my partner. And while George was in the toilet I burned a print of his infamous 'Art' painting, in front of the great work itself. Not one of the signed ones. Much later, when everyone was gone, we danced with Madonna.
May 27
COCKTAILS AT WALLY'S
Photos: Thomas Heger
Kristian Fjellstad was host, Eileen X the cocktail hostess, the guests, outside and in, (but most of all Kristian and the guy who slept on the sofa), were noisy and drunk and the cash box was full.
May 21
OLD SEED
Photos: Thomas Heger
"Old Seed is the individual singer/songwriter efforts of CRAIG BJERRING. Craig's other occupation is creating improvised sound tracks with his theatre group CRUMBS (www.crumbs.ca) who have played in Berlin numerous times as part of the Berlin International Improv Festival. OLD SEED is the antithesis of Craig's work with CRUMBS. Whereas CRUMBS is improvised and generally comical, OLD SEED is composed material and generally earnest and sincere. OLD SEED came to Europe with a new record in October 2004 and has been touring extensively ever since (Munich, Vienna, Zurich, Belgrad, Ljubljana)..."
That was the advertising info. Having been recommended by Nikki Sudden I naturally agreed to the gig as soon as I got Craig's first e-mail, and only met him when he arrived on the night for the sound check. I was flabbergasted the instant he started. Looking over at Sir Thomas, eyebrow raised, I settled on the couch to enjoy one of our most memorable and faultless musical evenings. The recordings sing for themselves. The whole gig available on CD.
May 18
